Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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