i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
