She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
