Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
