Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
