It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
