Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize