so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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