That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
