So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize