I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
