you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Never joke about your clitoris.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
