He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
