I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize