Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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