I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We need to get me chipped asap
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
