Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
