He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
