I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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