So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
