I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
