Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
