I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
