Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize