i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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