Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
