Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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