Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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