bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i dont even know how to be here
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
