alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
