Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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