im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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