I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
