We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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