this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
