he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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