whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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