Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
