my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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