he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
