I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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