I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
