You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
