yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
God, I missed his penis.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
