Sponge bath it is.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
