its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think my tv is drunk
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
