I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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