oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
