why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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