Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
