i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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