Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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