so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
