I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
