i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
