You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
