i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
