The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize