Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
