He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
