Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
