I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
