Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
