Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
