Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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