literally had 100 drinks last night.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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