i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
